Opinion: What I learnt from the 2014 Grammy Awards without watching the 2014 Grammy Awards

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As a UK citizen, The 2014 Grammy’s don’t air until this evening, but in the spirit of music’s greatest award ceremony, here is what I gather went down with the help of tumblr, twitter and MTV news – with added cynicism.

Keep in mind all opinions are my own. Sorry bout it.

Macklemore and Ryan Lewis get MORE PRAISE for THAT song, and then to make the whole thing even more contrived, there was a mass wedding held by Madonna; I hate to be that guy, but I’m gonna be that guy. What? Please stop. I get that music is a platform, but stop making Same Love out to be the pinnacle of LGBT equality in modern music, because it’s not. The only good thing about it was that it was co-written by Mary Lambert, who wrote an even better song which didn’t include Macklemore pointing out that he wasn’t gay every other verse. And if you want an even more compelling remix of the song, check out Angel Haze‘s version. Stop this Macklemore wank fest right now. Also ‘Best Rap Album?’ Please.

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There are apparently other country artists other than Taylor Swift? Who knew.

Taylor Swift and Lorde are now BFFL’s because Lorde is winning things and Taylor isn’t so it’s like that popular by association?

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But we all know who Lorde really wants to be BFFLs with (don’t blame her.)

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Beyonce and Jay-Z just further solidify their place as power couple of the world with a slightly raunchy, slightly soggy looking, and all round perfect performance of Drunk In Love

EDIT: Okay so now it has been drawn to my attention, I guess it wasn’t a perfect performance due to Jay-Z’s controversial Ike Turner line that flew right over my head. Oh Bey, it was all going so well.

Jay-Z gives no shits.
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Daft Punk win all the awards and perform with Stevie Wonder which is cool, but they still refuse to take their helmets off the whole show. So Pharrell speaks for them. Such mystery most wow.

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Ed Sheeran isn’t happy about something?

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So is Trent Reznor

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And most importantly, Robin Thicke went home with nothing.

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